My Younger Brother Is Underhanded With Our Chores

By Dr. Robert Wallace

July 29, 2026 6 min read

DR. WALLACE: There are three siblings in our family: my sister, my younger brother and me. Our parents are rigid about divvying up chores that need to be done by the three of us and they're not amused if we don't complete them correctly on time. In fact, they've been known to dole out consequences that aren't too savory if we fail.

As one of two boys, my set of chores and those of my younger brother tend to be similar, although definitely not identical from week to week. My parents also rotate the chores around so that we all have to take turns at doing the dishes and so forth.

My older sister is a champion, as she gets everything done, never complains and is extremely reliable. But my younger brother never seems to be able to fall into the customary routine that is expected of us. He's always trying to trade some chores with me during the week or to get me to help him with some of his early in the week with the promise that he'll make it up to me later in the week.

But more than once, he's absolutely "hoodwinked" me and lately I'm feeling this isn't a coincidence at all. It feels more like he's intentionally being underhanded and trying to take advantage of me by "pushing the envelope" as far as he can. What's the best way to deal with this? I don't want to go to my parents, especially since he's younger than me and shouldn't be in a position of taking advantage of me. — My Younger Brother is Underhanded, via email

MY YOUNGER BROTHER IS UNDERHANDED: The best way to handle someone manipulative is to cut them off entirely. Tell him you're happy to talk to him about any reasonable subject or topic that he wants to discuss, and that you'll help him with any guidance or suggestions that may make his life easier for him.

But then let him know in no uncertain terms that you're no longer going to discuss anything regarding the sets of chores you are each assigned weekly. Tell him even if he offers to do twice as much as you do, that you're no longer interested in trading or "helping each other" because of his continued unreliability.

The idea here is to not cut him off entirely as a sibling, or stop talking to him entirely, but to isolate your disdain and your inflexibility in this one area only. Smile, talk to him about other subjects, tell him a good clean joke here and there and ask him how he's doing in school or in sports in an earnest way every chance you get.

But when it comes to him trying to wheel and deal with chores, let him know that you're not interested, and that he should perhaps check in with your sister to see if she's willing to negotiate with him!

MY BEST FRIENDS THINK MY BOYFRIEND IS POMPOUS AND SLIMY!

DR. WALLACE: I've been enjoying the summer after my first year of college. However, a new guy I've started dating is starting to get the circle of my longest and closest friends not only concerned, but in some cases pretty riled up and upset.

Recently, I've heard the words "pompous" and "slimly" used to describe him. The things that upset my friends are phrases he often repeats in front of others, such as "you are what you eat" and "you are how you work out." But I think the thing that upsets them the most is that he insists on going out in public chewing a big wad of gum in his jaw like it's a "tobacco chaw" or something, and he always has a towel around his neck! It's not a full-size towel, but more of a mid-range one that he always has draped around his neck, even when he goes out socially with me. I think the last straw from one of my girlfriends was when she saw him wearing a blue towel to match some blue clothing outfit that he had, rather than the typical white towel she had seen him with previously.

This close girlfriend of mine went off on me about how he's now "accessorizing colors" into these pompous towels and wearing them to make him look like a workout guru! How can I find a happy medium between my current boyfriend and my best friends? I'd like to dial down the rhetoric if I possibly can. — My Friends Strongly Dislike Him, via email

MY FRIENDS STRONGLY DISLIKE HIM: Let's start with the fact that there are obviously some reasons why you're dating him, as he must have some qualities you appreciate about him. You could tactfully mention those qualities to your friends in a non-condescending way to at least make them aware of what you see in him.

And as for their dislike of the way he dresses and carries himself, remember that you are the one in the relationship with him, not them. Think back to times you've seen other people in relationships with people you didn't necessarily like, but you knew well enough to stay out of someone else's business. Hopefully your friends will do the same for you here sooner rather than later. In the meantime, have thick skin when they complain and simply smile at them and change the subject of the conversation.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Vitaly Gariev at Unsplash

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