DR. WALLACE: I spent my summer traveling the East Coast with a close friend and now I'm back at my university for my sophomore year of college.

I went home for the weekend soon after classes started to spend some time with my parents, since I'd been gone most of the summer. The visit was pleasant as usual, but my father started riding me a little bit, wanting to know why I'm not dating anyone!

Apparently, he's aware that I haven't really dated anyone since early in my junior year of high school. The main reason for this is that I'm looking for a highly intelligent woman and I don't necessarily want to compromise on native intelligence. I'm an excellent student and bright enough myself, so I definitely want to find a spouse who's near my mental level or preferably above me. Being finicky about a dating partner means that it takes me a long time to find a suitable person to date, but I don't mind since I'm immersed in my studies, my friends and my busy daily life.

My father actually told me to "water down my expectations" when it comes to my dating life. I didn't know if I should be mad at him or laugh out loud, so I split the difference and just let out a quiet sigh and told him that I'm planning to do things my own way.

Do you feel I'm making a mistake by being extremely selective about who I choose to date? I just don't want to get into a relationship that I highly doubt will result in marriage if I were to go outside the parameters I have my heart set upon. — Sticking to My Plan for Now, via email

STICKING TO MY PLAN FOR NOW: Well, it's absolutely your life, so although others may wish to give you input, the final decision rests with you entirely. You mentioned not dating since early in your junior year in high school, so one factor might be your relative inexperience with dating, but at your more mature age as a sophomore in college, I trust you'll be able to ease into dating reasonably well when the right opportunities come along.

You still have the bulk of your life out in front of you and plenty of time to make your decisions in this regard. You can always adjust your thinking later as it may organically evolve at least to some degree. Your father may mean well by giving you his advice, but I side with you in terms of doing what you feel is best for yourself in your life.

IS HER REQUEST THAT I ACT MORE "DILIGENT" A WARNING SIGN?

DR. WALLACE: I've had a steady girlfriend for the past ten months and although we've gotten along very well, I've noticed in the last couple of months that she seems to be subtly pushing me with her choice of language. For example, the other day she told me that I should never pass up the opportunity to be more "diligent" about our relationship.

When I asked her to elaborate a bit as to exactly what she meant, she gave me examples where I could go above and beyond our normal routines and surprise her with various gifts, outings or thoughtful gestures. She made it a point to say that she's not specifically talking about spending a lot of money on her, but that she wants me to show her that she's appreciated.

I was pretty surprised to hear this since I've been quite "diligent" in the relationship since its inception, in my estimation. I'm definitely the one who goes more than halfway to accommodate her versus her accommodating me or doing anything special out of the blue for me.

Do you think having a girlfriend tell me to be more diligent about our relationship is an early warning sign that she's thinking of moving on to greener pastures somewhere else? Or could she simply be trying to seize more control of our potential future together? — Surprised By Her Comments, via email

SURPRISED BY HER COMMENTS: I feel a good relationship flows easily between the two partners and they both are willing to compromise without having to be told to do so all of the time. Yes, there's definitely give and take involved and things never balance perfectly in short windows of time, but over the long run things should roughly even out.

Your perspective of this relationship and hers at this point are noticeably different, so I advise some heart-to-heart communication to flesh out exactly what might be going on. Perhaps you could think through how you'd like to bring this subject up and even gently mention during the discussion that the diligence factor shouldn't be a one-way street either.

To create a good setting for this type of open discussion, perhaps you could think of a fun activity that she would likely enjoy, so you'd be showing some proactive "diligence" in inviting her for this type of date. Then be sure to leave time for a quiet snack somewhere or an opportunity to talk for 20 to 30 minutes after the date ends so that you'll be fresh off of some fun experiences together when you carefully bring this subject up so that you can measure her reactions in real time.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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